Read the previous part of the “Principles” series here.
Believe it or not, but most of the people don’t want to make other people’s lives worse and they don’t plan to ruin your day! At least, I think so:)
After spending many years with different people, I’ve realised that what we feel about some decision or a situation isn’t the same what other people feel about it. And that’s the source of all the issues and misunderstandings.
I want to encourage you (& me!) to do three things:
- Don’t take decisions personally
- If you have doubts - simply ask the person behind it about their point of view.
- Assume positive intent!
If you want to talk to the person who you think might have done something bad/stupid and you disagree with this, don’t hesitate to express your concerns. The key thing here is to use some form of Nonviolent Communication, by using your sincere feelings and explaining your point of view.
I try to follow this guidance and I never assume that someone (especially one of my co-workers) would like to do something bad. My algorithm is simple:
- Accept the fact that someone has a different point of view
- Try to understand it
- Ask this person about things that concern you
- < someone is going to profit from this discussion >
- Move on
Assume positive intent, have a meaningful discussion and benefit from understanding a different point of view. It’s much better than getting angry and letting stress to come into your body.